Reading post about 5 Love Languages
The idea to read a book together in a book club and share the learnings with my fellow club members is actually very exciting to me. This is truly the first book club I joined after I graduated from university looooog time ago :) The first book we read is the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I got both pdf and audio versions of the book and it turned out that I listened majority part rather than reading. Listening to a book just fits right into the time I walk during lunch break at work.
The advice this author gives is profound and universal. It can be applied successfully to any deep relationship you have (children, parents, close friends).
The basis idea is that there are 5 Love Languages. And if you speak a different love language than your partner, then you may not feel loved and vise verse. Only if you speak the main language of your partner, her/his love tank would be filled. The book also provides approach of how to identify a person's main love language and how to learn to speak it. The 5 Love Languages are: Words of Affirmation Quality Time Receiving Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch
Even though we learn the principle of speaking each other's main love language, it still needs time to practice it in order to really master it. It is a constant practice and it requires constant reviews together to make it a habit and a natural thing to do. All these actions are based on the foundation that we are willing to change/improve ourselves in order to make our relationship better.
It is important to understand your partner's language first and try to speak it evenbefore your partner understand yours.
Some favorite quotes I like in this book:
“Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.”
“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
“The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth.”
